Birth of a Salesman
Birth of a Salesman is the third episode of season one of The Cleveland Show. It is the third episode, overall. Synopsis Cleveland goes on a job hunt and Tim gives him connections to his work at Waterman Cable. Meanwhile, Rallo and Roberta do not approve of Junior's kindness and ass-kissing with their mother, making them look bad. Plot Cleveland looks for a job, first trying to be a grizzled police officer two days from retirement and also as a singing salesman at the Stoolbend Flea Market. Tim helps him get a job at Waterman Cable as a phone solicitor. Cleveland runs into an old high-school friend, Terry Kimple who is working as a cable installer for Waterman. When they were in school, Terry took the rap when they were busted for drugs. When Cleveland excels as a salesman, causing business to dry up for Tim, Tim prays for bad things to happen to Cleveland. After a night of drinking at The Broken Stool to celebrate Cleveland's success, Cleveland and Terry are involved in an accident. Fearful of losing his job due to previous drunk driving incidents, Cleveland takes the heat for Terry even though it could mean the end of his job. Donna picks Cleveland up at the Stoolbend Police Station and the thought of Cleveland going to prison excites her sexually. Tim is upset because he feels his prayer caused all of the trouble. Mr. Waterman almost decides to let Cleveland go but after Cleveland discovers he has a close attraction to Terry, manages to turn it to his advantage to become a cable installer with Terry leaving Tim again as one of the top salesmen. Meanwhile, Rallo and Roberta are disturbed by Cleveland Jr.'s constant cleaning making them look bad. They attempt to mess his things up, only to find out that it's nothing more than a attempt to cover his feelings over his family's divorce by distracting himself to keep from crying, much to their shock. Feeling sorry, Rallo and Roberta hold a Celebrity Roast to make Junior cry to let his feelings out. They promised him that they will try to get him better and live with it. Characters Major Roles *Cleveland Brown *Donna Tubbs-Brown *Cleveland Junior *Roberta Tubbs *Rallo Tubbs *Tim the Bear *Lloyd Waterman *Terry Kimple *Don Rickles Minor Roles *Meadowlark Lemon *Gus *Lester Krinklesac *Holt Richter *Arianna the Bear *Arch *Florence *Officer Bryers *Ike Turner *Robert Redford (Deleted Scene) Quotes :Donna: Kids, I've told you three times now to make your beds. You get to more times and then a final warning, and then I go to work, angry. :Rallo: I ain't makin' my bed. That's a woman's job. Roberta wants to, though. :Roberta: Shut up, Rallo. I ain't a woman. I'm a girl. :Junior: I already made my bed, Ms. Donna. :Donna: Is that sarcasm, Junior? Because, if there's one thing I do not understand, it's sarcasm. ---- :Cleveland: I'm proud of you, son. Now maybe you could work on eating a little slower ... and not as much ... and not so often ... and maybe you could exercise. :Junior: Maybe you could get a job. ---- :Cleveland: Last week, I answered an ad for an old, grizzled cop, two days from retirement. :to Cleveland working as a police officer, two days from retirement; Cleveland and a police officer, (Officer Bryers), hide behind the police car, while criminals shoot at them :Officer Bryers: We need backup at 51st street. Subject is armed. Shots fired. :Cleveland: Working as a cop, two days from retirement, sure is stressful. Good thing I'm two days from retirement. :Officer Bryers: Okay, Brown. Go draw their fire. :Cleveland: But I'm two days from retirement. :Officer Bryers: Alright, I'll go. :Bryers goes out in the open and gets himself shot to death :Cleveland: Oh my God! Officer Bryers! ... Oh, well ... I'm two days from retirement. :back to scene :Cleveland: Of course, given the nature of that job, they had to let me go after my second day, working there. ---- :Cleveland: Can I have a beer, please? :Tim: Uh, a beer for me too. :Lester: And I, as well. :Holt: Give me a Stoley Red Bull. Sugar free. I've got my father's hips. :Cleveland: Just order a beer, fool. ---- :Holt: Last year, I asked Jesus for a ticket to the Espys. He didn't come through, so I just watched it on my plasma. :Cleveland: Oh, in your mom's basement? :Holt: Shut up! ---- :Tim: You know, uh, Cleveland, there's uh, an opening in my uh, department, down at the cable company. I-I-You-I could put in a good word for you. :Cleveland: Telemarketing? :Tim: Yes. Ye-Why-why does everyone always say it like that? Telemarkering is the chatter of the global marketplace. Ring ring. Hello? Cleveland, it's your future. Are you going to answer it, or-or quietly whisper to me, whispering "Tell them, I'm not here."? ---- :Donna: Roberta, Rallo, Cleveland Junior folded the laundry and I think you two should put it away. :Roberta: Put away my laundry? It's not my job to pick up after myself. I'm not my mother. ---- :turns off the TV and confiscated the remote :Rallo: Aw, man. She took the remote? Now what am I supposed to do? :notices a book on the table :Rallo: Oh, there's a book. :picks up the book, but instead of reading it, he throws it at the TV, hitting the button, turning it back on :Rallo: the camera Don't laugh, America. Don't laugh. ---- :Cleveland: Oh-ho, no way! Could it be? Turry ... Turry Kimple? :Terry: Cleveland Brown? :Cleveland: Oh my God, it is! Turry Kimple's in the house, yall! :Terry: Hey, Cleveland! Holy smokes! I can't believe it's you again! :Cleveland: After all these years, we meet again. What are the odds? :Terry: Man, I know. What are you doing here? :Cleveland: Just trying to be as cool as you. :Terry: Well, you're going to need some tighter pants. ---- :Cleveland: Hey, Tim. I didn't know Turry worked here. :Tim: Turry? Who's Turry? :Cleveland: Not Turry, Turry. With an "E". :Tim: Terry? Terry Kimple? :Cleveland: Yeah, Terry Kimple. That's what I said. :Tim: It's "Terry". "Terry!" :Terry: Hey, man, we all have our ways of pronouncing things. You say, Terry, I say Terr-may-toe. :Tim: apathetic Okay. ---- :Rallo: Don't be smart. You listen to me, Jack. You best stop cleaning up around here, or things are gunna get messy. Like this. :messes up Junior's bedsheets :Junior: terrified No! :an absolute panic, Junior fixes his bedsheets; Junior seems to be going through some kind of nervous breakdown, as be breaks a sweat :Junior: nervous Tuck in the corners. Just like mommy did it. Just like things were, when mommy did it and don't divorce the sheets. The sheets must never be divorced. :Rallo: shocked ... Fuck, dude ... ---- :Terry: Oh, man. Has Waterman talked to you yet? :Cleveland: Not yet. Oh man, I hope he doesn't fire me. :Tim: I should be the one getting fired! ... Fired by Jesus Christ, our lord and savior. :Terry: Aw, big deal! You showed your penis for food, we've all been there! ---- :Rallo: And now, a young lady, who goes to third base, faster than Ricky Henderson, my sister, Roberta Tubbs. :Roberta: Rallo Tubbs, everyone, or as he's soon to be known, "That's him, officer." ---- :Rallo: the middle of a roast ... Speaking of Jews, ... ---- :Don Rickles: Look at this fat son of a bitch. If you put a hot plate in this kid, you got yourself a Manhattan studio apartment. Trivia *Cleveland gets a job in this episode, working at Waterman Cable. *First appearance of Terry Kimple. *Donna does not understand sarcasm. *Junior's chore wheel has following chores: Clean Toilet, Wash Windows, Silver Polish, Free Spin, Vacuum, Make Bed, Gutter Patrol, and Lose Turn. *In the uncensored versions, Tim's penis is still censored. Cultural References *The title of this episode is a pun on "Death of a Salesman". *When Cleveland was remembering all his old jobs he had used to work at a Mini Mall, he sings the internet viral video song "Mini Mall Rap". *The stage for Cleveland Jr.'s roast is patterned after the stage used for the celebrity roasts seen in The Dean Martin Show. *Cleveland asks Tim if his penis is "bigger than the average bear". This is a reference to Hanna-Barbera cartoon character Yogi Bear, who always claimed to be "smarter than the average bear." *Rallo and Roberta watch a 'classic' movie on 'ITCM' Ike Turner Classic Movies, a parody of Turner Classic Movies cable channel. *In Cleveland Jr.'s Room, an RD-D2 toy can be seen. This R2-D2 toy has the same hairstyle as Cleveland did when he played R2-D2 in Family Guy's Star Wars parodies. *Tim prays for Buffy the Vampire Slayer to come back. *Mr. Waterman has a Sex in the City coffee cup. *Cleveland and Rallo mistakenly think that Herbie Hancock's "Rocket" is "Axel F" by Harold Faltermeyer. Production Notes *This episode was originally titled "Old Friend and New Friend and Even a Job", in reference to the lyrics of the theme song. This was changed, because it was too stupidly long. Category:Episodes Category:Season 1 Category:Cleveland Episodes Category:Tim Episodes Category:Junior Episodes Category:Terry Episodes Category:Mr. Waterman Episodes